There's no Christmas law that says Christmas cards needto spread holiday cheer.

Since 200800% Natural Friend’s Older Sister (2025) comedian John Cessna has been sending questionable Christmas cards to his friends and family, inspired by his mother's suggestion to "sober up" and start sending cards for the holidays.

Cessna shared his collection of brilliant cards on Imgur for everyone's enjoyment.

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In 2008 my mom instructed me to "sober up" and send my own Christmas cards to family and friends. Here's every year since, including the new one for 2016!
SEE ALSO: Fire station Christmas card features 6 super cute firefighter's babies

Focusing on the "sober up" part of his mother's request, Cessna's staged photographs feature a bunch of alcohol and drugs, or illustrate compromising situations likely caused by irresponsible binges. Nothing says Christmas like passing out on toilets, being tied to a tree with your pants down or burying a body.

Cessna's cynical and borderline nihilistic cards are a perfect inspiration for the Scrooges and holiday-haters among us.

Be careful what you wish for, moms.

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